


Just Keep Drinking

by iridescentglow



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, My Chemical Romance
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-12
Updated: 2008-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-24 05:39:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/936050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iridescentglow/pseuds/iridescentglow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In any situation, Ryland believes the best solution is to just keep drinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Keep Drinking

**Author's Note:**

> My favourite canon fact about Ryland and Alex of **Cobra Starship** is that, when they were penniless and living in Brooklyn, they used to go on [myopenbar.com](http://nyc.myopenbar.com/) and find anywhere that was serving free alcohol. I wanted to write a story that riffed on that, also incorporating my _other_ favourite canon fact: that Ryland and Mikey Way were neighbours. Unfortunately, I lacked... what's it called? Oh yeah. A _storyline_.

It was always easy for Ryland to tell when Mikey was home from tour. Suddenly his apartment became infested. Except, this mouse was about 5'10" and had ridiculous hair. He still liked to scarf crackers and cheese, though. Squeak, squeak.

"Mikey," Ryland said loudly. He couldn't see his uninvited house guest, but he could hear the rustle of plastic.

Mikey straightened up, revealing himself. He stood in the middle of Ryland's kitchen, unconcerned, holding a package of saltines. With his mouth full, he mumbled something that might have been, _'Sup_.

"Tour over?" Ryland inquired.

Mikey nodded, still crunching on a mouthful of crackers.

"That's great. But why aren't you…. _home_?"

With difficulty, Mikey swallowed. He said, "No food."

It had seemed like a neat equation to Ryland. You give your neighbor your key – in case of emergencies, in case you ever get locked out. It's nice, it's neighborly. Unfortunately, in Ryland's case, if you give your neighbor your key, it means _Mikey Way has your key_.

"Great," Ryland muttered, crossing his arms. "Help yourself. House of Blackinton is open all hours. No reservation necessary, although we do require that patrons wear a tie."

"You know," Mikey said, nibbling on a hunk of cheese, "House of Blackinton would be an excellent name for a metal band."

Ryland sighed. "I wasn't planning on starting a metal band, Mikey."

"Well, something to fall back on, maybe," he said thoughtfully, as if it were a solid Plan B in terms of career, like teaching or construction work. Fail as an actor – start a metal band! In Mikey's world, it probably made complete sense.

"Hey, do you have any cookies?"

Startled, Ryland whipped his head around. The motion must have looked comic, because he heard Mikey snigger. As it turned out, the request for cookies had come from Ultragrrrl. Only her eyes were visible as she peered at him from behind the couch.

"Hi Sarah," Ryland said mechanically.

He glanced at Mikey, hoping to find him chagrined in some way. Mikey still seemed unconcerned. He just continued to eat his cheese. Sarah used the couch to lever herself to her feet. It was at that point that Ryland realized her shirt was unbuttoned, revealing a lacy bra.

Ryland couldn't contain his irritation any longer. "Mikey, you can't just invite your girlfriend round to have sex in my apartment!" he exploded.

"He's not my boyfriend," Sarah said dismissively.

"Yeah, she's not my girlfriend," Mikey said. "Not for a long time."

"Well," Ryland spluttered, "don't invite your exes round, either. I mean, no offence, Sarah. Great to see you. How are things?"

"Great!" she said, buttoning her shirt slowly. "How's things with you? How's your boyfriend doing? I saw Alex a couple of weeks ago. He looked good."

"Alex isn't my boyfriend."

"You guys broke up?"

"We were never together!"

"Oh. Too bad," she said vaguely. Ryland got the impression that she wasn't really listening to him. "You two made a cute couple."

"I'm not gay!" Without realizing it, Ryland's voice had been getting progressively louder. As a result, the words came out as a full-throated bellow. 

Mikey and Sarah looked at him, then at each other, then back at him. They both seemed to be smothering giggles.

"What was the deal with the cookies?" Sarah said at last. "Yes? No?"

"They're in the second drawer," Ryland said in a low voice.

Ryland wondered if the pounding in his head and constricting of his throat were signs of an aneurism or stroke or something similarly life-threatening. The fact that he was still standing probably implied that they weren't. Regardless, he thought it would be a good idea to sit down. Slowly, he walked over to the couch. He sat down and closed his eyes. However, he could still hear the crackle of plastic (Chips Ahoy, he guessed), followed by the unmistakable sounds of foreplay: murmuring voices, the rustle of fabric as bodies rubbed together, the slick sound of lips against skin. Sure enough, when he cracked open one eye, he caught sight of Mikey's hand grabbing at Sarah's ass.

"Seriously!" Ryland shouted. Once again, his voice came out way too loud. He tried to pitch it at a more reasonable volume. "If you wanna have sex, find somewhere else."

"Ryland," said Sarah, "you can go have sex at my place anytime you like. If you and Alex ever need a place, just go for it. The couch basically doesn't get used for anything else."

Ryland sighed. Clearly, these were not people that you could reason with. He could only think of one solution. As Mikey and Sarah resumed making out in _his_ kitchen – taking breaks in order to eat _his_ cookies – Ryland pulled his phone from his pocket. He texted Alex with the message: _hey, wanna get drunk?_


End file.
